Mia Bella Signora
by Chrischi
Summary: Germany's feeling conflicted - everything he's pretended to be his entire life is falling apart around him. When Germany realizes that, deep inside, he is a woman after all, he doesn't know what to say. Follow Germany on her journey to become the woman she always dreamed, and maybe find love in the most mysterious ways.
1. Chapter 1

Ludwig paged through portraits that had been done of him during his childhood, smiling every time he saw a picture of him being foolish and wearing a dress or a skirt. Ludwig kept it inside, but he'd always liked wearing dresses. Now that he was older, there wasn't much opportunity for that. Of course, there was the odd time when he was drunk and his inhibitions melted away… Ludwig smacked the top of his head. He was trying to make sense of what was going on in his mind, and it seemed the only solution for him was to trace it back to the original source. Ludwig had always felt...strange in his body, to say the least, but it had gotten to the point recently that he had trouble getting into the shower without being thrown to the verge of tears. He sighed and continued to page through one of the many portraits. Prussia, his older brother, also known as 'Gilbert' or 'The Awesome One' used to get Ludwig's portrait painted regularly just for the fun of it, and because he was so rich he could afford it. Ludwig remembered fondly the time he had stumbled upon a woman who was giving away some old dresses, and Ludwig had taken one and tried it on. Gilbert had laughed so hard, and taken him to get his portrait painted. Ludwig sighed unhappily, and he felt a hand on his shoulder.  
"West!" came his brother's voice, loud and obnoxious near his ear, "I need to borrow money!"  
"Why?" Ludwig asked, quickly turning the portrait over, the one he had been admiring just a moment ago, "You can't just keep taking all of my money like that. Get a job."  
"No one can handle the awesome me in the workplace, West! I need money for beer!" Gilbert responded. At least his ego hadn't gotten smaller, after he was no longer a nation.

"Gilbert, I feed you, clothe you, and house you. I'm not wasting my money to buy you beer."

Gilbert made a noise of displeasure, and started doing his annoying, whiney thing to try and get his way.

"Go borrow money from Francis or Antonio. Leave me alone." Ludwig turned the portrait back over, and begun examining it, forgetting Gilbert was still there.

"West, why are you looking at that stupid portrait of you in a silly dress? You were such a weird little kid, I totally thought you were going to grow up and be a sissy like Austria."

"Gilbert, Roderich is your boyfriend. Why are you insulting him?"  
"Roderich is basically a woman." Gilbert responded, dramatically flinging himself over the back of the couch. "So, you've been looking at all of your girly portraits. Why?"  
Ludwig paused, took a deep breath, and said nothing.

Ludwig's quality of life was dwindling. He went to training with Feliciano and Kiku, but his heart wasn't really in it. He felt like he was lying to them, but he wasn't sure what he was lying about. Ludwig was sitting in his house, computer on, trying to make sense of his life again. His back was facing the door, so he didn't notice when Feliciano bounced up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. Ludwig scrambled for the mouse to close the tab, but it took him too long, and Feliciano was able to read the search name.

"Why were you searching up if it was normal for men to feel like women, Germany? Is Prussia being weird again?"

"Nein!" Ludwig replied, trying desperately to find a cover-up lie. "I um, I just wondered was all, Feliciano."

Feli paused, sensing that Ludwig was tense about something, but he wasn't sure what to say to his friend to comfort him.

"You look sad, Luddie. Do you want to go and see a movie or something?"  
"Nein, I don't want to go out." Ludwig responded. He felt uncomfortable in public these days - like people were always staring at him. He also figured they sensed his discomfort in his body. Feliciano nodded and hugged Ludwig from behind. "Do you want to go to bed? It's late, you've been up since super-duper early in the morning!"  
"Ja, I think that's a good idea." Ludwig muttered under his breath, glad for the opportunity to be rid of his easily-excitable friend, just for a while. It wasn't that Ludwig disliked Feliciano, he just needed some time alone to figure stuff out.  
"Si, I'm tired too! Let's go to bed, Ludwig!"  
Ludwig paused, and buried his face in his hands. "Please, Feli, not tonight. I really need some alone time."  
"When Japan says that, he always wants people to-"  
"I'm not Japan!" Ludwig shouted, cutting the Italian off before he could finish his sentence.  
"I understand." Feliciano said dejectedly, leaving Ludwig alone in his bedroom. Ludwig stripped down to his boxers, and fell asleep with tears in his eyes.

When Ludwig woke up in the morning, he felt a body pressed up against his. He sighed, and turned to see none other than Feliciano curled up against his body.

"Italy!" Ludwig shouted, "What did I say about needing alone time!"  
"But I had a nightmare." Feliciano murmured, without opening his eyes, "I came in here because you're so strong and manly and it always makes me feel better."  
For some reason, when Feliciano called Ludwig 'manly', it made the German want to burst into tears right then and there, but he swallowed the lump in his throat and quietly choked out a murmur of agreement. Ludwig sat up, rubbing his eyes, and reached for his phone on the bedside table. He picked it up, angled the screen out of Feliciano's view, just in case he did decide to open his eyes, and proceeded to send a quick email to America and Canada, asking about something he was extremely worried about. He mentioned how top-secret it was at least fifteen times in the first paragraph, still worried about America gossiping, but he knew that their two countries were some of the most LGBT-friendly in the world. Ludwig had done some research, and found out there was something called 'transgender', which meant that someone who was born feeling like the opposite gender than they were born with. He had also figured out that there were generally signs in a child's younger life, and, as Ludwig reminisced on his childhood, he realized just how many signs there were. The frequent dress-wearing, the paper dolls he used to make dresses for, how he cried and cried when Gilbert took away the dresses he had found on the side of the road in mud puddles, after people had thrown them away. Yes, there were signs. Ludwig was afraid of himself, and his feelings, and he needed to know if they were normal. Ludwig really didn't know Canada really well - he'd forgotten he'd existed until he read Canada's name in an LGBT article. He sent the email asking for advice and wondering if his feelings were normal, and a final request not to mention it to anyone.

Ludwig got an email back from Matthew Williams (Canada) almost immediately. He opened it, afraid he would see that it was an abomination. But he was also worried it would be okay, and that he was going to be brave enough to admit it to himself. And, of course, to other people. In the email, Matthew explained that being transgender was nothing to be afraid of, or embarrassed about, and that if Ludwig was a woman, Matthew would be one hundred percent supportive of him. Ludwig sighed in relief - these feelings did make sense. Ludwig then responded asking if Matthew had a phone number he could contact him at if he needed more help, and Matthew sent him one, reassuring him that his feelings were justified and completely normal. The email he got from Matthew's brother, Alfred, was a little more conflicted-sounding, mostly because a couple of America's states were still off-board on the whole 'equality' thing. But for the most part, America seemed okay with the idea, and he told Ludwig that he should be proud to be himself. Ludwig sighed, his whole body feeling warm with relief, and he turned his phone off, and turned on his side to face the sleeping Italian beside him. Feliciano blinked sleepily, rubbed his eyes, and smiled at Ludwig.  
"Good morning, handsome." Feli said, smiling, "I'm hungry."  
Ludwig, in truth, felt a little sad thanks to Feliciano calling him 'handsome', but he decided it was fine, because Feli didn't know. _I need to tell him eventually. _Ludwig thought to himself, sighing at the thought.

"Good morning, cutie." Ludwig said, before covering his mouth in a fit of shock. He never called people cute, because he thought it was a girly thing to do. _I guess I'm embracing my womanly self. _Ludwig thought, and smiled at the idea.

"Ludwig, are you okay?" Feli asked, "You never call me cute! Are you sick? Of course, I don't mind you calling me cute, it's just I'm not used to it, you know? I'm glad you think I'm cute, Ludw-"

"Feliciano, calm down." Ludwig cut into the flustered Italian's rambling. "Let's go eat, ja?"

Ludwig, admittedly, noticed that his behaviour was becoming outwardly more feminine, because he wasn't trying to hide how he felt anymore. He started to cook a large breakfast, humming modern pop songs to himself. Feliciano sat on the counter, singing along with Ludwig's deep-voiced hums.  
"You're in an awfully good mood today, Ludwig!" Feliciano smiled to his friend, who was in the middle of frying bacon in a pan.  
Ludwig realized something slowly that morning - that his feminine behaviour was very similar to how Feliciano acted on a regular basis - cooking and singing like a 1950s housewife from an old movie. Ludwig imagined himself wearing a frilly pink apron, and a curvy form, with a feminine face, and long hair styled into some elaborate updo. He was so lost in thought, that he forgot that he was cooking.  
"Uh, Ludwig, the bacon is burning!"

Ludwig was pulled out of his thoughts as he tried to furiously salvage the food he was making. The bacon was blackened and smoking. Feliciano wrinkled up his nose in disgust.

"That looks...delicious, Ludwig." Feliciano said.  
"You're a terrible liar. I've ruined it." Ludwig said in disappointment, smoothing his hair back with his hand. "I'm such a failure."  
At that moment, Ludwig felt tears rushing to his eyes. For some reason, failing to do a simple feminine task hurt Ludwig so bad, he had to run to his room and lock the door, burying himself underneath the covers and sobbing desperately. He heard the fire alarm go off in the kitchen, along with some Italian cuss words and Feliciano jumping around the kitchen until the alarm went off.

"Germany, are you okay?" Ludwig heard his Italian friend coming down the hallway. "Ludwig, please, come and talk to me."  
Feliciano's voice was just outside Ludwig's door, but Ludwig didn't know if he could face Feliciano right now. He checked himself out in the mirror across the room. His hair was a mess, his face was blotchy and red.

"Please, Ludwig, don't be upset. It's just bacon, we can make some more. I could make some more, please, Ludwig, don't be sad. I promise, if you come out we can make a lot of bacon together and throw a party, and we can invite all of our friends and we can all eat bacon together, si? Please, Ludwig."  
Ludwig shook his head, trying to keep his sobs back, and said nothing. He couldn't handle this right now.

A few hours later, when Ludwig still hadn't emerged from his room, Gilbert came to the door, worried beyond belief, hammering on the door like crazy, shouting loudly. All Gilbert's yelling did was make Ludwig cry harder. After a while, Gilbert left, due to Feliciano's insistence that he go and play with his bird and stop scaring Ludwig. Ludwig still wouldn't emerge, sobbing harder and harder each time Feliciano knocked on the door. He heard Feliciano on the phone with Kiku, but Kiku was busy, Ludwig assumed, due to Feli's exasperated sigh. He was on the phone with Lovino at one point, too, but with no success. After several phone calls later, Feliciano was about to give up.

"Alfred?" Feli said into the phone defeatedly, and Ludwig immediately grew alarmed. What if Alfred told Feliciano what Ludwig had emailed him about? "Alfred, Ludwig's locked himself in his room and I can't get him to come out!" Feli paused to listen to Alfred. "Si, bring Matthew, please. Anything to get Ludwig out. He's been in there for four hours. It's past lunch, I'm hungry and I need to have a siesta." Another pause. "Grazie, America, thank you. See you soon."

In a little over half an hour, there was a knock on the front door. Feliciano went over to open it.  
"Si, he's in there. No offense, Alfred, but maybe Matthew can go first and see if he'll let him in, you might upset him more."

There was a quiet discussion Ludwig couldn't hear, and a few seconds later there was a gentle knock on his door.

"Ludwig?" came a soft voice, "Ludwig, it's Matthew. Can I come in, please?"

Ludwig sniffled and pondered the possibilities, and a few seconds later, the lock clicked, and the door opened a crack.  
"What do you want?" Ludwig demanded, his voice cracking.

"Just to talk, Ludwig, can you manage that?"

"I suppose." Ludwig closed and locked the door, with Matthew inside.

Matthew reached for Ludwig's hand and rubbed his fingers gently. Ludwig blushed a little, at the tender gesture from the quiet Canadian.

"How are you doing, Ludwig?" Matthew asked, still rubbing Ludwig's large, masculine-looking fingers. Matthew let go of Ludwig's hands after a minute, reaching for the large duffel bag he'd brought with him. He opened the bag and rummaged around for a moment, and, before letting Ludwig answer, asked another question.  
"What's your favourite colour?"

Ludwig was flustered. Favourite...colour? "Uhm, green."  
"Like your uniform?" Matthew asked, still rummaging.  
"Nein. Like...a forest. Tree leaves."

"That's a pretty colour." Matthew said, pulling a bottle of nail polish out of his bag, in a bright green. Ludwig paused, not sure what Matthew was attempting. Matthew then pulled out some fake nails and nail glue. He smiling reassuringly at Ludwig, before starting to slightly long fake nails over top of Ludwig's broken, chewed ones. After Matthew finished gluing on the nails, he faced Ludwig.  
"How are you doing?" he asked again.

"Not so good." Ludwig murmured, mesmerized by Matthew painting the fake nails a brilliant green. Ludwig's hands had never looked so pretty before. The colour and the nails made his large, calloused fingers look almost like a woman's. Matthew smiled. "You picked a nice colour."

"How much nail polish do you have in there?" Ludwig asked, curious.  
"In all due time." Matthew replied quietly, "Now, let's get you dressed."

Matthew had brought a dress. A flowing black dress, that was tight on the chest, and did a sort of mermaid-y thing around the waist, flowing loosely down the hips, all the way to the knees. Matthew had brought a black bra, too, and Matthew showed a slightly embarrassed but eager Ludwig how to stuff a bra with socks. Ludwig put it on, blushing. He wasn't used to being this supported, or this comfortable, even. Matthew also gave him a pair of black panties, that Ludwig (eagerly, but also uncomfortably) put on. He put the dress on over his female garments, and Ludwig gasped in surprise. He didn't say anything as Matthew led him back to the bed, and started covering Ludwig's face with makeup - blush, bronzer, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick. Every time Ludwig tried to get a glimpse of himself in the mirror, Matthew would force his face to turn back.  
"In all due time." Matthew whispered.

Ludwig nodded, and waited for the quiet Canadian man to finish.  
"One more thing." Canada whispered, pulling blonde hair from his back. When Ludwig's hair was down, it was a bit longer, and Matthew started clipping hair extensions on. Ludwig fidgeted nervously. Matthew handed him a pair of black heels, and Ludwig put them on. He waited patiently, and Matthew smiled.  
"You go, pretty lady."

Ludwig walked over to the full-length mirror, and the moment he saw his reflection, he started to cry.

"Thank God I picked waterproof stuff, eh?" Matthew whispered quietly, but Ludwig didn't notice. He was too captivated by the woman in the mirror. She had long, slightly wavy blonde hair that just reached past her shoulders. Her nose and cheekbones, thanks to contouring, were far more feminine. Her shoulders were still broad, of course, but her face was so much more feminine. Her lips were a faint shade of pink, and her eyes were smoky, with hints of green that matched her nails. Her nails! Ludwig lifted his hands to the mirror, and he choked up again.  
"Matthew…" Ludwig whispered, voice cracking, "Thank you."  
Matthew shrugged. "What should I call you?"

Ludwig paused, thinking of every woman's name he liked. One name stood out in particular.

"Monika." Ludwig murmured. The deep, masculine voice didn't match the face.

"Well, Monika, my dear, would you like to make your big debut?" Matthew asked, inspecting his handiwork.

Monika immediately shook her head frantically. Matthew nodded. "Can I at least bring Alfred in here? Half of this was his idea."

Monika nodded, and Matthew walked out into the hall. A few minutes later Alfred came in. He stopped in the doorway, his mouth popped open in shock. Monika covered her face self-consciously. A huge grin grew on Alfred's face. He wolf-whistled quietly.  
"Well hello, pretty lady. How about you and I go out later tonight?" he said, sliding over to Monika.

Monika shook her head, a deep giggle erupting from her throat. "Nein." she whispered, "I have my eyes on someone else."

"Is it Feliciano?" Alfred asked, faking being offended.  
"Ja." Monika whispered.  
"Well, gorgeous, you're in luck, because I know a certain Italian named Feliciano with a thing for pretty ladies."  
Monika blushed, and smiled. "Thank you so much. For...for everything."  
A few minutes later, Matthew returned. "Feli's worried about you, Ludw- Monika. You should probably talk to him, eh?"

Monika nodded, taking in her reflection one more time. "Send him in, ja? I think I should talk to him alone."

Alfred took the hint and left, Matthew smiling encouragingly and following his brother. A minute or so later, Feliciano appeared, smiling. The smile dropped off his face when he entered the room.  
"Ludwig?" he asked.  
"Uhm." Monika replied, worried.

"Ludwig, you look pretty!" Feliciano said happily, his smile bouncing back in a matter of seconds. Monika blushed deeply and whispered.  
"Please, call me Monika."  
"Okay!"


	2. Chapter 2

Italy was uncharacteristically silent as he studied Germany.

"You're such a pretty lady." he said, after a while, and Monika blushed.

"You're very handsome." Monika replied, smiling at her friend.  
All of the sudden, Feliciano bounded forwards and cuddled into Monika's chest. He muttered something into Monika's stuffed bra. She pushed him away gently.  
"What was that, Feli?"  
"You still feel all warm and strong, Germany!" he chirped, cuddling into her again, "I feel safe with you."

As Monika looked down at tiny, cuddly Feliciano, she felt a fluttering feeling in her chest, and she felt blush rising to her cheeks. Feliciano looked up at her.  
"Was this why you were so sad?" he asked, and Monika nodded softly. "Why, though? You're such a pretty lady, and you look so much happier and blushy!"

Monika blushed harder at Feli's comment. "I'm just worried what people will say. After all, it will be unexpected, for a lot of people."

Feliciano nodded. "Oh! So you were afraid of what we would say? Come on, Monika, we love you!"  
To that, she blushed even more, and Feliciano seemed proud that he made her flustered.  
"You should tell Gilbert."

Monika paused, shook her head for a moment, and Feliciano shoved his face in between Monika's fake breasts. For some reason, even though they weren't flesh, she felt embarrassed, and blushed even harder.  
"I've never had a friend with boobs that I could cuddle, Germany!" Italy chirped, then paused, "Uh, actually, I have, but they weren't friends really, they were more-"  
"Feli," Monika cut him off, not needing to hear the stories of the various women her flirtatious friend had slept with, "Could you bring Gilbert in for me?"

The moment her big brother saw her, he burst into laughter.

"Ludwig, you're crazy! You look so weird! You...you-" he burst into another fit of laughter, unable to contain himself. Monika felt tears starting to form in her eyes again, and Gilbert noticed.  
"Are you for serious right now?" Gilbert asked incredulously.

Monika nodded cautiously, trying to gauge what Gilbert would say next. To her surprise, Gilbert drew her into a tight hug, and gently patted her hair extensions.

"Then you're the prettiest little sister ever."

Monika was shocked, to be truthful. Gilbert didn't seem like the supportive type - so far, everyone had been amazing about it. She was definitely worried about Russia. He was a dangerous person when it came to this particular topic, and she was also fearful that Russia would beat her to death and leave her in some sort of alley or street. At least she'd die as herself, or with some semblance of herself. She kissed Gilbert's cheek.

"Are you not surprised?"  
"Surprised?" Gilbert asked, bursting into another fit of laughter, "You wore dresses every other day when you were little! And I know you paint your toenails!"

Monika smiled softly. Gilbert grinned.

"Francis and Antonio are going to freak out!" he commented.  
Monika's eyes went dinner-plate large. "Why are you going to tell them?"  
"They're going to be excited to have another girl nation to hit on. There are so few ladies. Belarus and Liechtenstein are off-bounds anyways, and Hungary is scary! Ukraine's the only one with a good body, but she's an awful crybaby." then Gilbert grinned, "I'm glad I have Roderich, rather than one of the crazy girls."  
Monika smiled. "Am I a crazy girl?"

"Nein, you're a perfect little sweetheart."

Monika left her room for dinner. Feliciano (to no surprise) had made pasta, and he was setting the table when she emerged. She almost did run back to her room when she noticed the guests that her brother had invited - Francis and Antonio, as promised, and Roderich.  
"Ohonhon," Francis laughed, raising his eyebrows in surprise, "A pretty lady to join us for dinner?"

Antonio gave a small smile to Monika before turning to the empty seat beside him.  
"Where did Lovi go?"

Feliciano looked up from the stove, where he was finishing up his homemade pasta sauce. "Um, he wanted to go play with Germany's dogs outside, I think. Lovi loves puppies!"

Monika smiled softly at the thought of the usually-grumpy Italian playing calmly with her dogs. She sat down beside Feliciano's spot, across the table from Antonio. After a couple seconds of sitting, she felt a foot brush against hers. She shot a glare at Francis, who chuckled deviously.

"Nice shoes." he commented, "How did you get so good at walking in high heels so quickly, chèrie?"

"Practice makes perfect." Monika muttered.

Feliciano walked to the back door and yelled for Lovino to come back inside. Monika heard angry grumbling in Italian. Monika glanced to Roderich, who sat at the head of the table. Gilbert sat directly across from him. Roderich was eyeing Monika curiously.

"You know, that eyeshadow colour is atrocious." he commented, "Purple would be better on you."  
Monika shot him a glare. "I like this colour. It's my favourite."  
"I'm just saying." Roderich said vaguely, raising his hands in surrender.

Lovino came shuffling inside grumpily, shoving past Feliciano in the doorway to sit beside Antonio at the long table. He glanced up to glare at everyone, and his eyes stopped on Monika. Lovino's usually-angry expression dropped off his face in surprise.

"Now what in the hell is this?"

The entire table went dead quiet. Everyone stared at Lovino, either angrily or in shock. Antonio shot an apologetic look at Monika, and she shrugged. Lovino stared at Monika openly, still.

"Is this some sort of dumb joke? Because it's not funny, dumb bastards! What's going on?"

Antonio stood up, grabbed Lovino by the tie, and dragged him off into the kitchen. Monika couldn't hear much of the conversation, but he did hear a few cuss words on each side, as well as Antonio's voice getting more and more angry as conversation progressed.

"So," Monika said, "Where did Matthew and Alfred go?"  
"Hockey game tonight." Francis responded, looking up idly from his empty plate, "My Matthew and his hockey, agh, I will never understand. He promised to buy that disgusting McDonald's for Alfred, so he agreed to go as well. My sons are strange, to say the least."  
"I agree." Monika replied, with a small smile, "But they both are wonderful people."  
"Agh, ma belle, I know. Matthew especially, oui, he has always been nice to people."

"I did wonder about that. Why is he so nice after being pushed around all the time?" Monika asked, not sure if she was overstepping her boundaries by asking such a question. Francis' expression grew somber.

"As a younger child, Matthew, uhm, shall we say 'struggled emotionally'. He just wants people to feel loved and noticed."

Monika nodded, but she felt like she'd crossed some sort of barrier with the question. She decided not to press the matter. Instead, she turned her attention towards Lovino and Antonio, who were re-entering the room to eat. Lovino sat down beside Antonio, and met eyes with Monika.

"Sorry for...you know."

Antonio smacked Lovino's hand, and Lovino sighed.  
"I'm sorry for being disrespectful to you when you've been nothing but kind to me since the day I met you."  
"See, that's how you treat a lady." he murmured, and then Antonio's right hand, and Lovino's left, disappeared underneath the table. Feliciano sat down beside Monika, and glanced over at his brother.

"Fratello, are you holding hands with Antonio?"  
Lovino blushed bright red and raised both of his hands. "Of course not, stupid brother!"

The conversation from that point on was light and happy - Feliciano rambled on incoherently about something or other, and Monika admired her fingernails as she delicately ate her pasta and drank her wine. Feliciano watched as everyone finished their food, and smiled softly before sliding his hand on top of Monika's. He pulled her hand underneath the table and held it, squeezing it gently. Monika felt her cheeks get hot, and Feliciano giggled softly. Monika sighed happily and leaned back in her chair. Lovino shot a glare at Feli, but Monika noticed that his hand had disappeared under the table again.

"So…" Monika said, after a few minutes of pleasant silence, "Antonio, Lovino...what's your relationship?"

Lovino flushed bright red, and Francis did his strange Frenchman laugh. Antonio smiled pleasantly.

"Lovi, I think-"

"No, stupid bastard, there's nothing between us! I've never been with you! Never! Do you hear me, you dumb bastard!" Lovino scraped his chair backwards and stormed away. Antonio laughed merrily, and Francis leaned over to whisper something in his ear. Antonio's face went entirely red, and he leaned away from his slightly creepy friend.

"What did you say, Francis?" Monika asked, blushing as he felt Feliciano rubbing circles on her hand. Francis grinned.

"I asked Antonio whether he was a top, or a bottom," Francis said in a vaguely sensual voice, "I think I got an answer."

Antonio slammed his hands on the table dramatically. "And what is _that_ supposed to mean?"

Francis chuckled quietly, "I'm only saying that tops, they don't get embarrassed about it. Bottoms, they are not so proud."  
Antonio shook his head repeatedly, "No, no! I was just surprised by the question!"  
"So then, what are you?" Prussia chimed in.  
Antonio stood up to leave. "You all need Jesus!" he followed in Lovino's wake.

After both Antonio and Lovino had gone off to God-knows-where in the house, Gilbert stood and moved to Lovino's old spot, closer to Roderich. He poked the prissy Austrian's face.  
"Gilbert, what are you-"

Gilbert cut him off with a quick peck on the lips. Roderich looked utterly stunned, and also vaguely disgusted.

"Not in front of other people, Gilbert."  
Feliciano butted in with: "But Roderich, it's okay to show how much you love someone in public! Right, Monika?"

Monika realized that Feliciano was pulling her hand up to show how they were holding hands. Gilbert raised his eyebrows. "Oh." he chuckled.

Monika tugged her hand away. "I don't know what you think you saw."

The next few days, for Monika, at least, were paradise. She spent her time inside, and Feliciano came over every day, bringing food for her and watching movies with her. Gilbert and Roderich spent a long time in the basement. One day, maybe three days after Matthew had transformed Monika into her true self, Gilbert and Roderich's activities downstairs became extremely...loud. Feliciano covered his ears and sat on the couch, his knees tucked up to his chest. Monika covered her ears, sighing heavily.  
"I really don't want to listen to this right now." she muttered, trying to drown out Roderich's moans from the basement with loud pop music. Feliciano sighed.

"There's really no use, you know. We should go and see a movie!"

Monika froze. She wasn't feminine today - no extensions, no make-up, just a new pink tank top she'd gotten from Alfred, and some hand-me-down sweatpants from Ukraine. She shook her head.

"Please, Germany, it's so...uncomfortable here!"

She nodded in agreement, "Ja, it is, but being outside, with other people, looking the way I do...it doesn't work out well."  
Feli shook his head. "We're leaving two hours. Get ready."

Monika couldn't resist the boisterous Italian, after all, and she prepared herself to go. After clipping her hair extensions in perfectly, and attempting to get her make-up perfect, she sighed as she tried to figure out what she was going to wear. She covered her face with her hands, sighing heavily.  
"What in the hell do I have to wear? I only have a few things…"  
Feliciano bounded into the room, carrying a big bag from a very, very fancy women's store. He plopped the bag down on Monika's bed.  
"There you go, Monika, try these on for size!"  
Monika opened the bag. Fancy blouses, cashmere sweaters. The Italian had bought her so many expensive things...the most expensive thing Monika had ever bought for him was a giant box of pasta. She felt immediately guilty that her friend was so willing to buy her such expensive things. She thanked him especially for the pants he had for her.  
"I got them altered to fit you perfectly!" he chirped, hugging her tightly, "I wanted to show you how much I love you!"

Blushing, Monika got dressed. Of course, she shooed Feliciano out first. She put on a white cashmere sweater over a forest green blouse. She wore black pants and expensive-looking flats. She stared in the mirror, tears in her eyes again. Feliciano bounced into the room and kissed Monika on both cheeks.  
"Bella, you look fantastic!" he chirped, and then hugged her tightly, "Time for a movie!"

When Monika got into the driver's seat, she felt uncomfortable. Her nail polish was chipped, and every time she looked in the car's mirror she knew that she wasn't a very convincing woman, what with her masculine body type, her hard jaw, her deep, shouty voice. Feliciano was humming a song in the passenger seat, tapping the beat of the tune on his thighs.

"What is that song you're singing?" Monika asked, reaching for his hand, then stopping herself. Feli glanced over, grabbed her hand, and smiled softly at her.

"Uhm...a love song…" he blushed furiously, "It, um, it made me think of you."

Monika blushed too, and both red-faced individuals stared straight ahead out the window in awkward silence. Feliciano hummed the song again, and Monika blushed.

"Germany?" Feliciano said in an unnaturally serious, shaky voice.  
Monika glanced over to look Feliciano in his coppery brown eyes. Feli glanced away, before sighing and looking Monika in the eyes.

"Uhm," he murmured, "Germany, I...uhm…"

"Italy, please, just speak." she responded, tapping her fingernails anxiously on the steering wheel and turning her attention to the road in front of them. She was uncomfortable - her friend was never this serious. He must've done something bad - spray-painted the tanks or something of that caliber.

"Monika, I love you." Feliciano said, his voice cracking halfway through the sentence, and then he blushed furiously. The car screeched as Monika almost crashed it, shocked by the sudden confession. Then she cursed in German, turned to her friend and said: "What?"

Monika pulled over on the side of the road so that she could talk to Feliciano without having to concentrate on another task. The back of his head was facing Monika's seat, and he was staring out the opposite window. Monika reached her hand across the seat to touch Feli's shoulder.  
"Italy, are you okay?"  
The Italian shook his head, quivering. "No."  
"Why not?" Germany responded, sighing heavily and brushing one of her hair extensions out of the way.

"Because you don't love me back."

"Are you sure about that?" Monika asked, reaching her hand up to fondle Feli's cheek, "Are you really?"  
"Si, I'm sure. You only love me like a friend."  
"Again, Feliciano, how could you know that?"  
Feli turned to face Monika - his face was tear-streaked, and Monika felt a pang of guilt in her chest at his unhappiness.

"Because I do." Feli murmured, refusing to meet Monika's eyes.  
Before Italy could say anything more, Germany pulled him in for a kiss. Time stopped. Monika's head was thinking a thousand things at once, but time had stopped. She pulled away. Feliciano stared into Monika's eyes in wonder.

"I guess you really do love me!"  
Monika nodded, and blushed softly. Feli grinned. Monika turned the keys in the ignition again, and got back on the road. Feliciano hummed the love song from before to himself, until he stopped suddenly and turned to face Monika again.  
"So... does this make you my girlfriend?"

Monika didn't almost crash the car this time, but she was tempted to pull over and discuss this without her mind being distracted. She decided against it, because if they wanted to get to the movie before it started, she was going to need to drive fast. She didn't answer right away, and Feliciano slumped dejectedly in his seat.  
"Monika, you're so complicated."  
"Nein, not really." she responded, with a small smile on her face. "I'm the least complicated person I know. You're complicated - you always confuse me."  
"How do I confuse you?" Italy said accusingly, pointing one finger at her.  
"You're always kissing me and hugging me, getting into my bed, you're never at your own house, you named half of the dogs I own. Feliciano, you are a highly complicated individual."

Feli sighed. "Kissing and hugging is how you show people that you love them, si? I love you, but you always thought I meant like a friend!"  
Monika flushed bright red and focused on the road. "Uhm, about being your girlfriend…"  
"Si?" Feliciano responded hesitantly.

"Ja, I would like that." Monika said.

Feliciano made a strange, excited squealing noise. "Yay! Germany, I'm so happy! I have a very pretty girlfriend!"  
Monika thought that her face might explode from the amount of blushing she had done in the past week, but she just smiled instead and proceeded to pull into the parking lot of the movie they had chosen to see. Some romantic comedy that she'd been interested in. Feli had dragged his feet and complained, wishing to go see the new spy movie, but Monika had said that she wouldn't even go if they went to see the spy movie.

The moment they walked into the building, Monika wanted to leave. She could feel eyes drawn to her from all over - and she distinctly heard a little girl whisper to her mom: "Why is that boy wearing make-up?". Monika was about to cry, but Feliciano clung onto her hand and led her over to buy tickets. They bought two for the romantic comedy, turned around, and walked smack into a friend of theirs.

"Kiku!" Feliciano shouted, hugging the quiet Japanese man tightly.  
Kiku responded by pushing Feliciano away and inspecting Monika.

"Mr. Germany, I'm sorry, you'll have to fill me in."  
"Germany is a lady!" Feliciano chirped, "And her name is Monika and she is my girlfriend!"  
Kiku smiled, without a trace of confusion. Monika guessed it was because Japan had some pretty weird street fashions, so he'd seen weirder.  
"I'm very happy you were able to address your feelings for each other. Mr. England will be very displeased - he lost the bet."  
"The bet?" Monika said, a little shocked.  
"Yes, Mist- Miss Germany. We were betting on whether or not you and Mr. Italy would confess your obvious feelings for each other. I said someday, he said never." Japan bowed slightly, "I must be going, I have a place to be-"

"Alright, Kiku, see you at training!" Feliciano chirped, hugging the conservative man once more before dragging Germany into the dark movie theatre.

It turned out, the romantic comedy had an extremely sad part. Feliciano sobbed like a tiny baby, and cuddled up to Monika the entire time. She was unaffected; she had, after all, seen much, much worse. She smiled when the lights came back on in the busy theatre, and Feliciano kissed her cheek.

"That was fun." he whispered, "Should we go back to your house and see if Roderich left yet?"  
Monika nodded pleasantly.

"I think that would be best."

"And then," Feliciano whispered, in a sensual voice, "We can listen to music and kiss and cuddle and drink wine!" his voice lost its sensual tone, and it was replaced by the loud, flamboyant voice he usually had. Monika smiled.  
"Ja, that sounds...extremely nice. I'm looking forward to that."  
They got into the car, and Feliciano sung along with the radio. Monika glanced over.  
"What is this song?"  
"Uhm." Feliciano blushed and changed the station, "Nothing!"  
"Was it that damned love song again?" Monika asked.

The Italian nodded softly and reached over to take his new girlfriend's hand. She smiled and, after the drive was over, pulled into the driveway of the house she shared with her ex-nation older brother. They came inside, bracing themselves for any sign of Gilbert and Roderich downstairs. Unfortunately, there was movement and talking downstairs, but it was conversation.

"Bruder!" Monika shouted, her voice carrying loudly through the entire house. She heard Prussia stomping up the stairs, and Austria's more quiet, catlike steps as well.  
"Yes?" Gilbert said, tucking in his shirt as he entered the hallway. Roderich was wearing a scarf, even though it was extremely hot outside. Feliciano skipped over and tugged on the scarf.  
"Mr. Austria, it's too warm to have a scarf on i-" Feliciano's voice cut off suddenly as he noted the bruises on Austria's neck.

"Ohhh." Italy said in a whisper.  
Roderich covered his neck self-consciously, whereas Gilbert just laughed, as usual. Roderich sighed heavily.

"Bruder," Monika muttered, "The floor isn't exactly thick. Next time you do...whatever it is you do down there, please, I beg of you, do it at Austria's house."  
This time, Gilbert flushed red. "Oh, so you heard, um-"

"Roderich is a screamer." Feliciano concluded, eliciting a bunch of spluttering from Austria, and chuckling from Gilbert.  
"Ja, we'll do it at Austria's next time. I promise." Gilbert said, grinning widely before grabbing his boyfriend's hand and tugging him down the stairs.

Monika sighed happily as she clicked the TV in her room off with the remote. Feliciano had fallen asleep at one in the afternoon, as they were watching a movie, and both of them dozed on and off until dinner. After that, they returned to bed, where they watched some more TV, giggled and kissed. Feliciano had finally shut down for the last time that evening, after complaining about the quality of German cuisine. Monika stroked the Italian's hair, careful to avoid the large curl that stuck out from the side of Feli's head. She knew what it did, and, even though she secretly enjoyed the results, she wanted to let him sleep. He was so peaceful, so perfect. She cuddled deeper underneath the blankets, kissed Feli's forehead, and let herself slip into a deep, carefree sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Monika woke up in the morning, bright and early, as usual. Her boss wasn't bothering her too much these days, and she enjoyed her morning with Feliciano. However, halfway through Monika's breakfast preparation, Feli's phone buzzed.  
"Dammit." he muttered, "Germany, I have to work today. I'm sorry."  
Monika smiled softly. "That's okay. I'll invite Matthew or Alfred over today, I think."

Feliciano nodded. "I have to leave right now." he stood up on his tiptoes to kiss her on the cheek.

"Have a good day." she said vaguely, buttering some toast, "Ich liebe dich."  
"Ti amo!"

And then Feliciano was gone, and Monika was alone for the first time in days. Gilbert had taken her advice and decided to stay with Roderich when they pursued their, uhm, nightly activities. She pulled her phone out as she sat down with her toast and coffee, and texted Alfred. For some reason, she was more in a boisterous, loud mood, and she wanted the company of her extremely loud friend. He texted her back after a few minutes.

_Sorry, dudette, I have a date._

_With who? Details! _Germany responded, proud of her friend for finally scoring someone. Alfred had vaguely mentioned his mystery boyfriend a couple times, but had brushed off all of their questions.

_He told me not to tell anyone, but...Kiku!_

_Kiku Honda? My friend Kiku?  
The exact same.  
Amazing. Good luck!_

_Thanks. Have a good day. Maybe shoot Mattie a text, he's free today?_

Monika took the American's advice and texted Matthew. He arrived within the next forty minutes.

Matthew was unhappy, Monika noticed the moment he stepped inside, shoulders slumped, red-rimmed eyes. She pulled him into a hug, closing her front door behind him.  
"Matthew?" she asked, "Are you okay?"  
Matthew sniffled. "Uh, yeah. I'm o-" a dry sob wracked his body.

"Canada?"

He shook his head and just leaned into Monika's body. She led him to the couch, and they both sat down. Canada didn't speak, just clung onto Monika's broad-shouldered frame. She didn't comment, allowing the quiet Canadian to cry it out for a while. It took him ten minutes to compose himself and untangle himself from Monika's arms. Matthew's cheeks were tear-streaked, and he dabbed at them with his sleeve.  
"I-I'm sorry." Canada whispered, "I-"  
"Nein, it's okay. It's good to cry."  
Matthew shook his head. "It's not. I was stupid, I was careless, I was-"  
"What did you do?"  
Matthew paused, before whispering something incoherently.

"Come again?" Monika murmured, reaching for Canada's hand.  
"I fell in love with someone who's already taken, I fell in love with someone who doesn't even glance in my direction, I-"  
"Matthew. How do you know that they don't notice you?"  
"Because I see him all the time, and I try to talk to him, and he doesn't even look me in the eyes."  
"Who?"  
Matthew wiped more tears from his eyes before responding. "I fell love with Gilbert. Your brother."

"Mein bruder. Gilbert. Ja, I guess he's okay, but he's such a pain in the-"  
"I know." Matthew gently cut in, "I know how he is, but I love him."  
"Ja." Monika pondered the situation, not sure how to respond. "Okay, ja."

Matthew sniffled and shrugged. "I don't know what to do."

"Ja, me neither. Um." Monika paused awkwardly, "Do you want me to talk to him about it?"  
Matthew didn't respond.  
"He might notice you if I mention you have an interest in him…"

Matthew nodded. "Uh, okay, you know, if it's not weird…"

Monika heard the front door open, and feet stomping down the hallway. No dainty Austria-steps. Prussia was by himself. Monika stood, held one hand up to Matthew to tell him to stay, and walked over to stop Gilbert before he retreated to the basement.

"Bruder." Monika said sharply, and Gilbert turned, tear-streaked eyes and all.

"Ja?" Gilbert asked, his voice choked up.  
"Are you alright?" she asked her brother, her intentions disappearing at the pure sadness in her brother's eyes.  
"Nein." Gilbert muttered.  
"What's wrong?"  
"I...Austria and I are no longer a going concern."  
"What? You two were so happy, what-"

Gilbert's face flushed bright red, and he looked down at his feet. "I...uhm, when we were...I said 'Matthew' instead of...Roderich."

"Mein gott." Monika muttered, remembering what she had come over to say in the first place.

"What?" Prussia snapped, wiping his tears.  
"Just...come with me."

Matthew's eyes went round as a crying Gilbert was led into the living room. Gilbert sat down next to Matthew, and Monika felt a small smile curve her lips as she noticed the awkwardness between them. Gilbert, ironically, was more awkward, obviously due to his accidental name-slip with Roderich. Matthew wiped some more tears out of his eyes.  
"Why-why are you crying?" Matthew asked.

"Pure awesomeness such as myself doesn't cry." Gilbert defended himself weakly. "Why are you crying?"  
"Because I'm in love." Matthew answered honestly, and Monika glanced at Gilbert to gauge his emotions on the matter. Gilbert slumped, looking extremely disappointed. Monika giggled, because she realized that Gilbert thought Matthew was in love with someone else.  
"I'm in love too." Gilbert blurted out suddenly.  
Matthew slumped too. Monika giggled again.  
"Tell me, dear sister, what's with the laughing?"  
"Oh, I know things that you two don't."  
"Such as?"  
"You're in love with each other." she said.

Gilbert perked up suddenly, his bright red eyes glittering mysteriously. "Are we?"  
Matthew seemed to sink deeper into the couch, and nodded gently. "I think so."

"Well isn't this interesting." the Prussian said, reaching for Matthew's hand. Matthew flushed but squeezed the white-haired man's hand in response. Prussia laughed nervously, and Monika smiled.

"I think I've helped enough here." she said, standing up. Gilbert laughed, and Matthew's face got even redder, if possible. Monika smiled and went to take a shower.  
"Don't get anyone pregnant." she said vaguely as she went into the bathroom.

When she emerged, she heard Prussia's hysterical laughter, and Matthew's quiet chuckles from the basement. She smiled to herself and went to her room to watch a movie - make-up free, hair-extension free, wearing her new pyjamas from Feliciano. She curled up under the duvet, and just as she hit play on the chick flick, she heard a knock on the front door. She stood, and cautiously looked through the peephole. Feliciano in his work uniform - the jacket unbuttoned, tie undone and dangling loosely around his neck, hair dishevelled and messy, panting heavily. She opened the door, smiling.

"Guten tag, Feliciano." she said. "I thought you had to work."  
"Only for a couple hours, Monika, then I ran all the way here after I finished." Feliciano tried to catch his breath. Monika smiled.  
"I was just going to watch a Jennifer Aniston movie." she blushed, realizing how dumb it sounded. Jennifer Aniston movies were so utterly stupid.  
"Si? I love Jennifer Aniston! She's so pretty and funny and her smile is amazing! She's a really amazing lady!"  
Monika smiled. Only a guy like Feliciano could love Jennifer Aniston movies. She let him inside, and they both made their way to the bedroom, where Monika pressed play on the movie. She crawled underneath the covers, but Feli just pouted and crossed his arms.

"Problem?" Monika asked, eyeing him in confusion.  
"Si. I don't have any comfy clothes to wear, but we're supposed to be getting all comfy and watch a movie."  
"Just wear your boxers." Monika said, trailing her eyes back to the screen.  
"But you're a lady, and that's not right!"  
"Ja, but I'm different. It's fine, I've seen you without clothes before."  
At that, Feli shrugged and stripped his work uniform off. He was wearing…  
"German flag boxers." Monika said, arching her (carefully plucked) eyebrow.

"Si! Because I wanted to have you near me all the time!"  
"Near your crotch. All the time." Monika replied skeptically.  
"Si, well, that too!" Feli said, cracking a grin to show that he was joking. Monika smiled.

"I love you."

They didn't end up watching much of the movie - thirty minutes, tops, because at one point Feliciano had leaned across the small gap between the two nations and kissed Monika gently, teasingly, and then pulled away and sat back to continue watching the movie. Monika's mouth tingled, and she pulled Feliciano onto her lap, resting her hands on his hips. She pulled his mouth to hers, and her mind had gone haywire. His mouth was warm and tasted like pasta and tomato sauce - his favourite foods - and everything she did right elicited a teeny-tiny moan from him. At one point during the kissing and laughing and whisperings of 'I love you', Monika grabbed onto the strange curl on the Italian's head, and Italy squealed, pulled away, and sat back in his spot. Monika flushed.  
"I'm sorry, Feli, I didn't mean to upset you or anything, I-"

"No, no, Germany. You didn't do anything wrong." Feliciano cut into her ramblings, "It was just that, uhm, that curl does some things I really, really didn't want to get into right there. I mean, when we do...you know...I want it to be perfect."

Monika flushed again at the implication. She wasn't sure if she would ever be comfortable enough in her body to do...that with Feli. She sighed heavily and reached for his hand underneath the covers.  
"Ich liebe dich." she whispered, and Feliciano grinned.  
"I know."  
"You know, do you?"  
"Si. You tell me a lot now."  
"I'm glad you know."  
Feliciano yawned and closed his eyes. "I'm going to have a nap."  
Monika stroked the Italian's hair. "Okay, liebe."

There was a long silence, and Monika thought that maybe Feliciano had fallen asleep.  
"Germany?" Italy mumbled, "I hope you know I love you, too."

When Feli woke up, it was noon. Not late in the day, not yet, so Monika decided they should cook a big lunch of steak and potatoes. As she cooked, Monika drank from a bottle of beer, while Feliciano poured himself a glass of expensive French wine. They clinked - bottle-to-glass - and Feliciano whispered, "To us!" in an adorable little voice.  
"I'll drink to that." Monika replied, and took a big sip of her beer, mashing up some potatoes in a pot. Feliciano sat on the counter, sipping his wine.  
"Germany?"  
"Hm?"  
"Do you love me?"  
"Are you crazy?" Monika asked, turning to face Feliciano.

"I'm just kidding." Feli laughed. There was a knock on the front door.  
"I'll get it, pretty lady, you just stay right there!"  
Germany smiled, dumping butter into the potato goop. She ran her hand through her hair, which she was growing out. She didn't wear it slicked-back like she used to, no, now it was clipped back with sparkly barrettes. Her hair just covered the tips of her ears. She heard someone yelling at the doorway, so she set down the knife she was using to mince garlic and walked out to see what was happening.

Lovino had Feliciano by the shirt collar, yelling at him angrily in Italian. Feli was stammering in response, but, of course, Monika could not understand.  
"Everyone shut up!" she shouted, "What is the problem here?"  
Lovino dropped Feliciano and turned to glare at her.  
"This stupid bastard hasn't been home in days! I thought he was dead, but no, he's been spending all of his time at potato-bastard's house!"  
"Excuse me?" Monika asked, "Do you really want to fight me? Italy is a grown man, and he can do what he wishes. Italy, do you want to go home with your brother right now? I'm not going to mad if you want to go."  
"Germany!" he chirped, "We haven't finished lunch yet! I want to stay here to sleep, too!"  
"Lovino, he's alive and making his own decisions," Monika replied calmly, "Would you like to stay for dinner?"  
"Like hell!" Lovino said, stalking angrily to his car that was parked haphazardly in the driveway.

"Italians." Monika muttered, "Drive like madmen and park like drunk ones."  
"Grazie, Germany!" Feliciano kissed her on the cheek. "Alright, let's finish up your potatoes!"

Gilbert and Matthew emerged from the basement just in time for steak and potatoes. They all ate happily, laughing and passing alcohol around the table. The only person who didn't drink was Matthew, who observed the loud nations quietly and occasionally reached for Gilbert's hand or asked for someone to pass something to him. Other than that, though, Matthew was his usual quiet self. Monika smiled softly at her friends as she ate, enjoying the peaceful conversation that seemed to flow freely throughout the table - it was mostly Feliciano and Gilbert who spoke loudly, Monika and Matthew quietly exchanging glances or observations throughout the meal. When everyone had finished eating, Matthew stood up.

"Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom. Could you show me where it is, eh?"  
Monika stood swiftly, scraping her chair backwards loudly. She grimaced at the noise, but smiled anyways.

"Of course. Right this way, Matthew."

As soon as they left the room, Monika started assaulting Matthew with questions.  
"What's going on between you two? What happened in the basement? What do you think about him? Do you love him?"  
Matthew held his hands up to slow the incessant stream of questions that erupted from Monika's mouth. "One at a time, eh? I don't really know if we're together or not, I mean, we never discussed it…" Matthew trailed off, blushing bright scarlet, "I think I love him. Is it too soon to say that? I mean, I've been in love with him for a long time, eh? Do you think he loves me? What do you think he wants from me?"  
"Matthew, Gilbert is nothing if not honest. He can't seem to stop talking. If he wants something, he'll tell you. But I know mein bruder, and I think he loves you." she smiled encouragingly at the Canadian, and showed him down the hall where the bathroom was.  
"Thanks. For everything."

"No problem, Matthew." Monika smiled, and returned to the dining room, where something incredibly strange was happening.

Prussia and Italy were both standing on the table, having knocked all of the food onto the floor, and they were singing loudly. Was that...a Disney song? Monika groaned audibly at Gilbert's scratchy voice, and covered her ears, glaring at the two red-faced men who were drunkenly beginning a two-man band.

"Bruder!" Monika shouted in a threatening tone, and Gilbert's scarlet eyes dropped to meet Monika's. He grinned and reached out his hand for Monika.  
"C'mon, sis, we need a girl in our band! You're a good singer?"  
Gilbert had a beer bottle loosely dangling from his long, pale fingers, and Monika smoothly pulled it out of his hand as he continued to dance, kicking a stray piece of meat onto the floor. Feliciano, on the other hand, had single-handedly chugged two bottles of wine. Feliciano was, admittedly, a bit of a lightweight, and Monika knew that Feliciano was completely and utterly wasted. She was surprised, because Feliciano was never the drunk one out of the two. It was always Monika who drank too much. She never really had to deal with drunk people. She snatched Feliciano up, carrying him bridal-style, and carried him to the guest bedroom, dropping him on the sheets.  
"...German...y...wha's…" Feliciano murmured drunkenly, "D'you...hate...m'?"

"Nein, Feliciano, you're drunk. Ich liebe dich." she leaned in and kissed Feliciano's forehead.  
"Okay." Feliciano sighed contentedly and closed his eyes. Monika rubbed her temples with her fingertips and ventured back into the dining room. Instead of seeing Prussia continuing the act as a one-man show, she saw Matthew taking him by the hand and leading him towards the basement. Gilbert was protesting loudly and blabbering in German, but Matthew was speaking to him calmly in French, which seemed to soothe him, for some reason. Monika smiled.

"Danke. For taking care of him for me." she said, and Matthew grinned.  
"No problem, eh? Piece of cake. Dad - England, that is - gets drunk a lot. Papa France as well."  
"Ja, I've heard the stories. Well, would you like to stay over the night? Movies or something?"  
"Um, I probably should get going, Papa wanted me to come over...so…"  
"Ja, that's okay. Some other time, then, Matthew."  
Matthew nodded and helped Gilbert down the basement steps. Monika headed off to bed, exhausted for no reason in particular.

When she woke up in the morning, she couldn't bear to look in the mirror. For some reason, her reflection was killing her. Monika felt a sob rise up in her throat, and she buried herself in her bed, wrapped up like a burrito in her blankets. She stared blankly at the wall, thinking about how much she hated herself, how much she hated her body, how much she-

"Ciao, Germany, sleep well?" came a half hearted voice from the doorway.  
"Ja." Monika responded, glancing over to see Feliciano covering his eyes with his hands.  
"I'm not feeling so good - I vomited four times already this morning!"

"That's great, Italy."

"Are you alright, bella? You look really sad!"  
"Ja." she responded, wiping a tear off of her cheek, "Ja, I'm fine."  
Feliciano wandered off, presumably to make breakfast. Sometime within the next twenty minutes, Feli called out: "Ludwig! How do you like your eggs?"  
Monika didn't respond, and Feliciano went dead silent. Then, a moment later:

"Dammit."

Monika still said nothing. She heard Feliciano come up the hallway, obviously upset, rambling apology after apology.

"I'm so sorry, Germany, I deserve to be hit by a train or something like that - I don't want to be hit by a train - but I called you Ludwig but that's not okay because Ludwig is a boy name and you're a very pretty lady named Monika and it's silly that I messed it up! Eh, I'm so stupid, I'm so sorry Germany! I messed up, I'm so stupid, I'm the worst person ever! Wah!" Italy promptly burst into tears.  
"Feli." Monika murmured. "I'm not upset about that. Everyone's bound to slip up sometimes."  
"Then why are you upset?" Italy asked, sniffling.

"Verdammt!" came the moans from the basement, "Nie wieder. Never again. Ugh, my head."

"Ve! Well, Prussia's up. Why are you upset, Monika?"  
"Because I'm not a real girl."  
At that, Feli put his hands on his hips and glared straight at Monika. "Ex_cuse_ you?"  
"I'm not a real girl! I don't have girl parts, I have-" Monika cut herself off and stared between her legs, at the obvious bulge in her sweatpants.

"You're as much a girl as anyone!" Feli said, kissed her cheek, "Ti amo, bella, and you better believe it, because if you think for a second that you're not the pretty lady that you are inside, I'm going to get very mad at you, Germany! Understand?"

Monika nodded. "I love you."

Feliciano brought her breakfast in bed, even though she knew that Feli's hangover was maybe the worst he'd ever had. She admired his sacrifice - to suffer for her - and she pulled him into her bed and made him eat a little toast. He moaned and covered his eyes again.  
"I'm craving that strange American thing...what's it called? McDonald's? McDonald's egg McMuffin, that's it! How disgusting." Feli shivered at the thought of American food. Monika smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Would you like me to see if Alfred can bring some over?"  
"Si!" Feli said, kissing Monika's cheek. She blushed deeply and texted Alfred, who replied (and I quote):

_ROCK ON DUDE I WILL TOTALLY BRING YOU MCDONALD'S YOU ARE CONVERTING TO THE FREEDOM COUNTRY THAT IS SO TOTALLY AWESOME!_

To which Monika replied. _Nein. Feli has a hangover. McDonald's is good hangover food._

Alfred didn't respond, and Monika texted him saying that he should also bring some for Gilbert. She got a smiley-face emoji in response, and she turned to face Feliciano.

"Do you want some Tylenol or something?" Monika asked worriedly. She hated seeing Feli in pain, even if it was the boisterous Italian's fault.

"Si, Germany, if you would…"  
"Of course." Monika slid out of her bed to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, returning to her bedroom a minute later with a glass of water and two Tylenol. Feliciano, of course, had trouble swallowing the pills and ended up dumping a lot of water on the bed rather than in his mouth, but he eventually got them down. Alfred showed up a few minutes after that, not bothering to knock on the door. He burst into Monika's bedroom, holding a big McDonald's bag and a tray of McDonald's coffees.  
"Coffee?" Feli perked up excitedly, then covered his eyes, "Ah, my head!"

Alfred handed a coffee and something from the bag to Feliciano, and he dug into the egg McMuffin greatfully.  
"Gilbert's downstairs." Monika said, "Here, come with me."

Monika hadn't been into Gilbert's bedroom in months. Well, it wasn't a bedroom so much as its own apartment in the basement, complete with its own kitchen, living room, bathroom, bedroom, and laundry room. Gilbert only ever used the bathroom, bedroom, and occasionally the living room to watch movies and play video games. From the amount of dirty clothes strewn around the basement, Monika could tell that Gilbert barely ever used the laundry room, and Gil always came upstairs to eat with her. She couldn't help but feel disgusted by the mess. She found Prussia slumped in his bed, moaning about a headache.  
"Gilbert, we have company."  
Gilbert sat up and looked over with bleary eyes. "Mattie!" he shouted.

"Nein, Gilbert. Alfred."  
Prussia looked disappointed and buried his face back in the blankets. "Then I don't care."  
"He brought food." Monika prodded.  
Gilbert sat up again. "Alfred, it's great to see you!"

Monika and Alfred went back upstairs, sitting at the dining room table with their coffees. Monika politely declined the food from America, explaining that Italy had already made breakfast for her.  
"So...Gilbert and Mattie, huh?"  
"Wha-, oh right. Ja." Monika said, glancing up at Alfred under her eyelashes. "I think they make a really cute couple."  
"I'm glad Mattie's happy, but your brother's sort of a douchebag sometimes, y'know?"  
Monika couldn't agree more, but Alfred didn't have the right to say that. "You're the douchebag, Alfred. Half of the time, you forget that Matthew even exists!"

"Right, like you didn't use him to get what you wanted!" Alfred shouted, "You're an asshole, you know that? A complete asshole! And for the record, the only reason I pretended to act all supportive was as a favour to my brother. You're just a big, burly faggot, and you're never going to be a woman! Ludwig!"  
Monika felt tears in her eyes the remark, and it wasn't long before she was full on crying. Feliciano came running into the room, yelling angrily and jumping onto Alfred, screaming and hitting and kicking. It wasn't something Monika expected of the constantly-surrendering Italian. Gilbert came stomping up the stairs, walked up to Alfred, grabbed the back of his jacket, and slammed his back up against a wall.  
"Don't talk to my sister that way, you son of a bitch!" he growled angrily, "Get the hell out of my house right now, or we're going to have a lot more problems!"  
Alfred sneered at Gilbert, which resulted in a knee to the groin, a punch in the nose - which sprayed blood everywhere - and a swiftly pulled knife to the throat. Alfred hadn't even had the opportunity to throw one punch. Gilbert's face was an inch from Alfred's.

"Get the hell out of here, and never come back."

Monika sobbed hysterically in her brother's arms that day. Feliciano tried to comfort her, but he sensed that it was more a sibling moment than anything and kept his distance. Gilbert patted Monika's back softly.  
"He didn't mean it, sis, he's just a giant douche." Gilbert whispered to his sister, and she chuckled softly, wiping her eyes.

"Danke." she smiled at her older brother, but her eyes were pained.

Feliciano stepped cautiously into the room, a tentative smile on his face. "Monika, bella, uh, my fratello came over to visit!"

Gilbert straightened up on the couch, his eyes flashing angrily. "Is that supposed to make him - I mean, her - feel better? That guy is nothing but rude to her?"  
"Lovino promised to be nice." Feli sung happily, "And he brought presents."  
The presents turned out to be some nail polish. Some really colourful, bright nail polish colours.

"Danke, Lovino." Monika said, sniffling, "What brought this on?"

"Well, my stupido brother said you were sad, and I didn't want a pretty lady to be sad." Lovi said, blushing lightly.

Monika felt a small smile creep onto her lips, and she thanked Lovino. "You're not half bad, Romano."  
He offered something akin to a smile, and sighed heavily. "Can I go now, fratello?"  
"Si!" Feli chirped, "Grazie, fratello!"  
"You made him come here." Monika said, her face falling.

"No! He was walking by and I told him to get you a present 'cause you're sad and he brought nail polish and everything he said was from his own brain!"

"Ja, okay." Monika replied skeptically, but she smiled anyways. "Ich liebe dich."


End file.
